Hi y'all (said in a georgian accent(the state not the country which is being invaded by the ruskys))
It's been a while since ive been on here, apparantly i'm an enthusiast.. (thats not like a gymnast dont worry) it means I have a tendancy to start things and not finish them.. (me! shock! horror!)
Anywho thats my explanation for the lack of "schreiben" (and yes i am learning german quite well)
I am getting married!!! and my baby son will be born around the 31st of October!!
I can't wait.... and I have to be honest, no doubt pregnancy is hard on the woman but jesus why doesn't it come with warnings for the man!!
i mean it's literally like been on a rollercoaster for 9 months!! its mental..
But worth it i hope (awww....) I was wondering why it takes 9 months though cause i hate waiting for anything..(a bus, leeds utd to win the 1st division) but then i realised it takes nine months to agree on an effing baby name.. and we're still not there..
My favourite is Spencer at the mo, so please comment..
other names have been , noah,jack,lennon
I am in Berlin, got a lovely nice house of which im gonna take some pics, and Ive just started a new job which is working for a compan like ebay but for renting and that is growing by over 20per cent per week...
So all things are looking up, ill catch up more regular now I hope...
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Update
Just a quick one today...
Ive been quite busy recently.. left my job a month ago and started back at it on Monday! dont ask me why, suppose i just got fed up of it and then i got fed up of doing nothing!
But it was a very nice 4 week holiday in Berlin doing pretty much nothing...
I did manage to pop to Poland with the girlfriend for a weekend, we stayed in her Grandad's "house" well i say house but it was tiny, had a world war 2 heater in every room, had no hot water, in fact no cold water either and no electricity! it wasnt that bad but surely was an eye opener. The place had 4 rooms in it and he bought it outright for 250 euros! yes thats about 180quid!!! Poland is the place to buy people!
Anyway.. I managed to spend a weekend with her family who dont speak a word of Englsih and still have lots of fun!
We arrived at 11 at night and quickly went back to our "hotel", the next day we went back to her aunties at which point with a suprised look on herslef she began pointing and laughing at me.. (nice) it was quickly translated that she thought when we turned up the night before she thought I was black...
I tried to explain that everyone is black at night but instead got thrown a large tumbler of some thing called Vodka... or what they called Vodka...
i can almost gurantee that if Vodka Revolution decided to do 36 shots of this stuff in a tray then they would almost certainly be in court for killing someone.. it was like petrol, i shit you not..
The first few were grim but after that I had a wicked night, somehow i spoke Polish fluently all of a sudden and her whole family learnt English.. so much so we had a rather heated debate on Poland joining the EU. Or so my girlfriend told me the next morning...
Anyway the weekend went well, got some cheap cigs.. Although I am not a fan of the blokes who stand in the car parks just over the border.. the ones who stand then menacingly while you politely ask them to "look after" your car--- i attempted to explain to them that the only people I was worried about touching my car were them but they were far too busy cleaning the windscreen to seem to listen..
bastards.
Anywho, last week saw me appear as a witness regarding my last posting, I should probably take it down! The nightclub have pressed charges on the quiet guy, the police have pressed charges on the quiet guy and the quiet guy is pressing charges on whoever sprayed CS gas....
The policeman who took my statement also seemed to dislike the fact I was English and seem to think it was me who beat up the bouncer who was very experienced and a good friend of his. He did say this in German at which point I caught him out and made the translator do her job and tell me what he said as it was her legal right.. the smile wiped from his face as I replied that he didnt seem quite so experienced when he was laid on his arse.. that didnt go down too well but hey ho!
So anyway now Im still in Berlin, back at my job and heading back to England for this weekend! with my lady friend in tow.
Scheduled for Sunday is a family reunion which will feature cameos by the nuns in my family who live in France, the Jamaican side of my family, and the jehovass witnessess in my family..
stay tuned for an interesting next post!
Ive been quite busy recently.. left my job a month ago and started back at it on Monday! dont ask me why, suppose i just got fed up of it and then i got fed up of doing nothing!
But it was a very nice 4 week holiday in Berlin doing pretty much nothing...
I did manage to pop to Poland with the girlfriend for a weekend, we stayed in her Grandad's "house" well i say house but it was tiny, had a world war 2 heater in every room, had no hot water, in fact no cold water either and no electricity! it wasnt that bad but surely was an eye opener. The place had 4 rooms in it and he bought it outright for 250 euros! yes thats about 180quid!!! Poland is the place to buy people!
Anyway.. I managed to spend a weekend with her family who dont speak a word of Englsih and still have lots of fun!
We arrived at 11 at night and quickly went back to our "hotel", the next day we went back to her aunties at which point with a suprised look on herslef she began pointing and laughing at me.. (nice) it was quickly translated that she thought when we turned up the night before she thought I was black...
I tried to explain that everyone is black at night but instead got thrown a large tumbler of some thing called Vodka... or what they called Vodka...
i can almost gurantee that if Vodka Revolution decided to do 36 shots of this stuff in a tray then they would almost certainly be in court for killing someone.. it was like petrol, i shit you not..
The first few were grim but after that I had a wicked night, somehow i spoke Polish fluently all of a sudden and her whole family learnt English.. so much so we had a rather heated debate on Poland joining the EU. Or so my girlfriend told me the next morning...
Anyway the weekend went well, got some cheap cigs.. Although I am not a fan of the blokes who stand in the car parks just over the border.. the ones who stand then menacingly while you politely ask them to "look after" your car--- i attempted to explain to them that the only people I was worried about touching my car were them but they were far too busy cleaning the windscreen to seem to listen..
bastards.
Anywho, last week saw me appear as a witness regarding my last posting, I should probably take it down! The nightclub have pressed charges on the quiet guy, the police have pressed charges on the quiet guy and the quiet guy is pressing charges on whoever sprayed CS gas....
The policeman who took my statement also seemed to dislike the fact I was English and seem to think it was me who beat up the bouncer who was very experienced and a good friend of his. He did say this in German at which point I caught him out and made the translator do her job and tell me what he said as it was her legal right.. the smile wiped from his face as I replied that he didnt seem quite so experienced when he was laid on his arse.. that didnt go down too well but hey ho!
So anyway now Im still in Berlin, back at my job and heading back to England for this weekend! with my lady friend in tow.
Scheduled for Sunday is a family reunion which will feature cameos by the nuns in my family who live in France, the Jamaican side of my family, and the jehovass witnessess in my family..
stay tuned for an interesting next post!
Friday, March 16, 2007
A week of Fun!
alright....
its Friday afternoon, Im knackered, sat at my desk skiving.. (this is the life!)
Last Thursday we had a work funded night out consisting of 3 grand to be spent between 12 of us as we won a monthly competition.. As expected it was messy, with yours truly playing organiser.
We started out at a local bar with a few bottles of champagne, always nice, a few awards were handed out for winners and losers of the month, accompanied with customary sex toys as prizes!
After this we made our way to a rather exclusive club.. bangaluu.. (and yes the gimp mask, ball and chain and black blow up doll came with us) once inside we were offered a bottle fo vodka for 700quid!! and yes it was the size of a small orphan child..
About an hour later one of the quiet guys (you know the type, looks like he writes his diary in human faceaes and blood and keeps it under his bed.. quiet aas a mouse in the office, always looks like he might cry, until he gets a whiff of smirnoff ice, then turns into party boy.. stripping on the u bahn etc..) decides he doesnt like the look of this bloke behind him dressed all in white..
next thing i know this guy is on the floor with said "quiet boy" jumping off a table screaming "the peoples elbow bitch"" ashe drills his elbow into this guys kidneys..
Next thing i see is that this guy is a fucking bouncer! oops.. so me and my mate (imagine the size of me on my dads shoulders) grab the quiet one and drag him off.. except he aint playing he starts swinging at everyone! So we eventually get him on the floor, Ive got his arm behind is back as my mate is pretty much sat on him.. and then this german bloke starts pushing me! so in very broken german (id only had a couple!) I apologise to him but make it clear that he should calmy step away before he gets hurt.. He obviously didnt understand and proceeded to grab me by the throat!
So at this point i have got one guy in an arm lock and this sweaty german bloke lokoing like hes trying to kiss me! So as any northener does i removed his arms from around my neck.. and just at the timei turned around, some body decided to douse us all in the nice refreshing smell of CS gas..
Nice...
Anyway.. we got the guy outside.. the management team appologised to me profusely as it was clear we were saving their skinny arses from getting a kick in.. and supplied us with more booze!!!
woke up next day......bright sunshine.....splitting headache.....shit shit shit what time is it... fuck... 11:40..
speed dial work....yes your fined 100 quid.. get in now...
quick shower..hangover from hell...wy the fuck are my ears ringing...oh no.. its my phone.. "hello?" "hi its your boss" (fuck) "erm, before you come in..(oh shit)..could you go and pick up the three others who havent showed up yet?"(phew)
three train rides and a long chicken from BK later.. I arrive at work..
one guy has fallen asleep at his desk, the rest look like shit.. I walk over to my manager and start to think is that the shirt he was wearing last night?
turns out he went outside with "the quiet one" ended up being chased by the police all night. "the quiet one got caught and broke a policemans arm!! (as we spoke he was flying back to the U.K.) so they cuffed him and my manager! hahahahahahahah
amusing...
anyway, Saturday I went to see the Killers in what can only be described as an old aircraft hanger..
One beer and customary shite Tshirt later their support act came on..Mumm-Ra!
now I do not say this lightly but they were one of the best acts Ive ever seen... theyre music was an eclectic mix very killers-esque but the lead singer had definate jarvis cocker influence, his confidence was only overcome by the sheer loudness of the music they played..
in front of a German speaking audience they explained who they were and where they were from before jumping into a barrage of indie brit american influenced music.. absolutley astounding!
The Killers really had to pull out all the stops to top their support band and they did it brilliantly.. a fabulous mix of old and new tracks epitomised by the majestic crescendo of Indie Rock and roll which went from full band to lead singer and guitar half way through..(and me jumping and singing my tits off!). Awesome concert..
Next came P.Diddy and Snoop Dogg at the local basketball arena.. tickets were still being sold on the door as they were for The Killers which was suprising..
The arena was less than half full as their support act.. (two random shit rappers) playing monotonous bass way too high to make out what the tune was never mind what they were saying..
it did fill up though as the smoke began pouring out over the stage (theater smoke or cannabis.. you decide...) and mr P.Diddy made his way out on to the stage screaming "Berlin.. your the loudest crowd I ever heard!" to put it bluntly mr diddy.. bollocks.. it was a third full...
he did actually warm the crowd up well... by bringing three kids onto the stage and letting them say stufff... it went something like this....
P.Diddy:where you from kid.. berlin?
(big cheer from crowd)
first kid :erm, no, Brooklyn
(akward silence)
P.Diddy:and you two?
2nd and third kid: Berlin
(massive cheer)
first kid then steals the mic..
first kid:biggie smalls!
(massive cheer)
second kid steals mic
second kid: 2pac!
(massive cheer)
third kid steals mic
third kid: Spice girls!
everyone: doh!
anyway.. P diddy plays his next song, writhes around on the floor simulating oral sex with a dancer.. then grabs the mic and asks everyone to give him a "hell motherfucking yeah!"
thats id mr diddy.. rapper, drug dealer, and great with the kids!
Anway he was promptly followed by Mr doog, who was clearly wearing his pj's but still somehow looking cool as fuck.. he was amazing, no frills just doing what he does best, rapping and looking stoned..
they both performed a couple of tracks together with intermittent references to east and west coming together commemorating Biggie and 2 pac... it was all very tearful, and culminated in P diddy and Snoop coming together for the song Ill be missing you (proper weird)
Anywho the highlight for me was the remix of ColdPlays Clocks.. and Snoop rapping over "Jump Around"
It was definatly worth going to see two of the world heavyweights but I was just praying that pharrell or Eminem would walk out and really get things going.. unfortuanatly it never happened...
And that brings us to Yesterday.. the Damien Rice concert..
The best of all...
The venue was Columbiahalle.. it looked like an old decrepit Scout hut from the outside.. and even moreso from the inside...
the floors were dirty.. the stage was tiny and it was dingy..
a perfect setting for the family members of The magic Numbers to walk out on stage to.. they started off with a perfect harmony accompanied by acoustic guitar, followed by a glockenspiel (i love that word!) and percussion..
although the german speaking fans were all looking at this weird group of Welsh Hippies a few of them actually started nodding their heads..
The numbers played all their hits (2) and the rest of their tracks and were very well received. And I have to say the slimmer sisters voice was amzing.. shivers down the spine stuff as she harmonised pretty much anything sang!
Next it was time for the main man.. he walked onto the stage hair a mess, looking like a farmer.. he picked a guitar up and started the first few chords of me my yoke and I.. the least expected song ever and managed to have the whole crowd bouncing.. his voice was incredible sounding clearer than the cd for the next couple of lively bouncing tracks!
and all of a sudden the music stopped, he kicked the mic out of the way, unplugged his guitar and came to stand on the front of the stage.
He broke into Cannonball.. the crowd went silent and he sang the whole song like that.. every note was perfect.
next was the single 9 Crimes... accompanied by the incredible Vyvianne Long who sighed every note perfectly... her voice was just so airy and light.. incredible. . every hair on my body was on end...
She even did a solo number plucking away at her cello and rapping which was suprisingly good..
The concert finished with Damien singing a number of songs acoustically, until the final chords, at which point he went a little bit old school and started using an 8 track to loop everything he played, so he started with a little riff, looped it and played a second.. he carried on with this including everything from cello to guitar to his voice, percussion, piano, and even tambourine..
all leading to a huge crescendo of noise that left you in awe of his song writing talents...
the only bad thing was that he didnt play The Blowers daughter but I suppose it wouldnt have really fir in with his new loud bouncy style!
All in all its been a top week, from mumm-ra to snoop dogg that 20pounds i paid for each ticket was more than worth it even if supriisingly the hardest one I had to fight for was Damien Rice...
Hope everyone is good.. pictures to follow on Facebook...
its Friday afternoon, Im knackered, sat at my desk skiving.. (this is the life!)
Last Thursday we had a work funded night out consisting of 3 grand to be spent between 12 of us as we won a monthly competition.. As expected it was messy, with yours truly playing organiser.
We started out at a local bar with a few bottles of champagne, always nice, a few awards were handed out for winners and losers of the month, accompanied with customary sex toys as prizes!
After this we made our way to a rather exclusive club.. bangaluu.. (and yes the gimp mask, ball and chain and black blow up doll came with us) once inside we were offered a bottle fo vodka for 700quid!! and yes it was the size of a small orphan child..
About an hour later one of the quiet guys (you know the type, looks like he writes his diary in human faceaes and blood and keeps it under his bed.. quiet aas a mouse in the office, always looks like he might cry, until he gets a whiff of smirnoff ice, then turns into party boy.. stripping on the u bahn etc..) decides he doesnt like the look of this bloke behind him dressed all in white..
next thing i know this guy is on the floor with said "quiet boy" jumping off a table screaming "the peoples elbow bitch"" ashe drills his elbow into this guys kidneys..
Next thing i see is that this guy is a fucking bouncer! oops.. so me and my mate (imagine the size of me on my dads shoulders) grab the quiet one and drag him off.. except he aint playing he starts swinging at everyone! So we eventually get him on the floor, Ive got his arm behind is back as my mate is pretty much sat on him.. and then this german bloke starts pushing me! so in very broken german (id only had a couple!) I apologise to him but make it clear that he should calmy step away before he gets hurt.. He obviously didnt understand and proceeded to grab me by the throat!
So at this point i have got one guy in an arm lock and this sweaty german bloke lokoing like hes trying to kiss me! So as any northener does i removed his arms from around my neck.. and just at the timei turned around, some body decided to douse us all in the nice refreshing smell of CS gas..
Nice...
Anyway.. we got the guy outside.. the management team appologised to me profusely as it was clear we were saving their skinny arses from getting a kick in.. and supplied us with more booze!!!
woke up next day......bright sunshine.....splitting headache.....shit shit shit what time is it... fuck... 11:40..
speed dial work....yes your fined 100 quid.. get in now...
quick shower..hangover from hell...wy the fuck are my ears ringing...oh no.. its my phone.. "hello?" "hi its your boss" (fuck) "erm, before you come in..(oh shit)..could you go and pick up the three others who havent showed up yet?"(phew)
three train rides and a long chicken from BK later.. I arrive at work..
one guy has fallen asleep at his desk, the rest look like shit.. I walk over to my manager and start to think is that the shirt he was wearing last night?
turns out he went outside with "the quiet one" ended up being chased by the police all night. "the quiet one got caught and broke a policemans arm!! (as we spoke he was flying back to the U.K.) so they cuffed him and my manager! hahahahahahahah
amusing...
anyway, Saturday I went to see the Killers in what can only be described as an old aircraft hanger..
One beer and customary shite Tshirt later their support act came on..Mumm-Ra!
now I do not say this lightly but they were one of the best acts Ive ever seen... theyre music was an eclectic mix very killers-esque but the lead singer had definate jarvis cocker influence, his confidence was only overcome by the sheer loudness of the music they played..
in front of a German speaking audience they explained who they were and where they were from before jumping into a barrage of indie brit american influenced music.. absolutley astounding!
The Killers really had to pull out all the stops to top their support band and they did it brilliantly.. a fabulous mix of old and new tracks epitomised by the majestic crescendo of Indie Rock and roll which went from full band to lead singer and guitar half way through..(and me jumping and singing my tits off!). Awesome concert..
Next came P.Diddy and Snoop Dogg at the local basketball arena.. tickets were still being sold on the door as they were for The Killers which was suprising..
The arena was less than half full as their support act.. (two random shit rappers) playing monotonous bass way too high to make out what the tune was never mind what they were saying..
it did fill up though as the smoke began pouring out over the stage (theater smoke or cannabis.. you decide...) and mr P.Diddy made his way out on to the stage screaming "Berlin.. your the loudest crowd I ever heard!" to put it bluntly mr diddy.. bollocks.. it was a third full...
he did actually warm the crowd up well... by bringing three kids onto the stage and letting them say stufff... it went something like this....
P.Diddy:where you from kid.. berlin?
(big cheer from crowd)
first kid :erm, no, Brooklyn
(akward silence)
P.Diddy:and you two?
2nd and third kid: Berlin
(massive cheer)
first kid then steals the mic..
first kid:biggie smalls!
(massive cheer)
second kid steals mic
second kid: 2pac!
(massive cheer)
third kid steals mic
third kid: Spice girls!
everyone: doh!
anyway.. P diddy plays his next song, writhes around on the floor simulating oral sex with a dancer.. then grabs the mic and asks everyone to give him a "hell motherfucking yeah!"
thats id mr diddy.. rapper, drug dealer, and great with the kids!
Anway he was promptly followed by Mr doog, who was clearly wearing his pj's but still somehow looking cool as fuck.. he was amazing, no frills just doing what he does best, rapping and looking stoned..
they both performed a couple of tracks together with intermittent references to east and west coming together commemorating Biggie and 2 pac... it was all very tearful, and culminated in P diddy and Snoop coming together for the song Ill be missing you (proper weird)
Anywho the highlight for me was the remix of ColdPlays Clocks.. and Snoop rapping over "Jump Around"
It was definatly worth going to see two of the world heavyweights but I was just praying that pharrell or Eminem would walk out and really get things going.. unfortuanatly it never happened...
And that brings us to Yesterday.. the Damien Rice concert..
The best of all...
The venue was Columbiahalle.. it looked like an old decrepit Scout hut from the outside.. and even moreso from the inside...
the floors were dirty.. the stage was tiny and it was dingy..
a perfect setting for the family members of The magic Numbers to walk out on stage to.. they started off with a perfect harmony accompanied by acoustic guitar, followed by a glockenspiel (i love that word!) and percussion..
although the german speaking fans were all looking at this weird group of Welsh Hippies a few of them actually started nodding their heads..
The numbers played all their hits (2) and the rest of their tracks and were very well received. And I have to say the slimmer sisters voice was amzing.. shivers down the spine stuff as she harmonised pretty much anything sang!
Next it was time for the main man.. he walked onto the stage hair a mess, looking like a farmer.. he picked a guitar up and started the first few chords of me my yoke and I.. the least expected song ever and managed to have the whole crowd bouncing.. his voice was incredible sounding clearer than the cd for the next couple of lively bouncing tracks!
and all of a sudden the music stopped, he kicked the mic out of the way, unplugged his guitar and came to stand on the front of the stage.
He broke into Cannonball.. the crowd went silent and he sang the whole song like that.. every note was perfect.
next was the single 9 Crimes... accompanied by the incredible Vyvianne Long who sighed every note perfectly... her voice was just so airy and light.. incredible. . every hair on my body was on end...
She even did a solo number plucking away at her cello and rapping which was suprisingly good..
The concert finished with Damien singing a number of songs acoustically, until the final chords, at which point he went a little bit old school and started using an 8 track to loop everything he played, so he started with a little riff, looped it and played a second.. he carried on with this including everything from cello to guitar to his voice, percussion, piano, and even tambourine..
all leading to a huge crescendo of noise that left you in awe of his song writing talents...
the only bad thing was that he didnt play The Blowers daughter but I suppose it wouldnt have really fir in with his new loud bouncy style!
All in all its been a top week, from mumm-ra to snoop dogg that 20pounds i paid for each ticket was more than worth it even if supriisingly the hardest one I had to fight for was Damien Rice...
Hope everyone is good.. pictures to follow on Facebook...
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Whats the German word for Uncomfortable?
Please, please someone tell me. I have just been sexually harassed... honestly! and worst of all by a guy!
Now I know everyone says Berlin is gay, but its official it bloody is!
ill explain.....
On my lunch Ithought it would be a good idea to go and buy a new shirt from this tiny little shop that seemed very nice from the outside. Upon entering the shop I asked the only staff member (quite clearly gay - which I have no problem with at all at least he knows his fashion I thought) i they did slim fit shirts....(yes you can all laugh but its true i need them!) He answered yes and directed me to the correct ones.
Immediatly he explains I can try them on, I agree (in broken German) and he leads me to what I though was the changing room (turns out it was just a little room that contained his manbag and a mirror (probably where he masturbates). He then set about getting me the shirt and told me to undress.. (at which point I thought ok, maybe my understanding of German isnt so good and he only wants me to take my jacket off).
He then tells me to take my shirt off as well with a glint in his eye... I shut the door and started püutting the shirt on..
halfway through he opens it and tells me that he will help.... (so at this point im quizzical but also very nieve).. he tells me to hold my trousers at the waist band and starts to show me how i should took my shirt in at the back!!!!!!!!! (yes hands inside my trousers!!!)
Now most blokes would probably have hit him but my mind was saying (ok this isnt right, but on the other hand you know fuck all about tailoring, maybe its normal..) then he moves around the front (bearing in mind he is on his knees) and starts trying to tuck the front in.... (now again most people would have said whoah woah woah sweet child of mine! what do you think your doing.. but then again most people couldnt say that in Deutsch... and neither could I.
So at this point I am very uncomfortable and trying to wrestle control of my crotch back off him.. I finally do and decide right, buy the shirt and fuck off... again while changing he opens the door with another shirt in hand and says "why dont you try this one!!!!"
Now i dont use this phrase often but I think i must have moved quicker than a smack heads giro does!
I quickly paid for the shirt at which point the questions began of where im from, where i work and as I was leaving the shop he called me back to say (again with that devils glint in his eye) that for the next shirt I have I get a 25% percent discount!!!!!!!!!!
I thought fucking hell so in essence you just touched me up for 30 euros! there must be a lack of mae prostitutes in Berlin!!!
And now Im back at work, slightly shaken and feeling filthy.. it couldn only happen to me!!!!!!!!!
I need a shower....
Now I know everyone says Berlin is gay, but its official it bloody is!
ill explain.....
On my lunch Ithought it would be a good idea to go and buy a new shirt from this tiny little shop that seemed very nice from the outside. Upon entering the shop I asked the only staff member (quite clearly gay - which I have no problem with at all at least he knows his fashion I thought) i they did slim fit shirts....(yes you can all laugh but its true i need them!) He answered yes and directed me to the correct ones.
Immediatly he explains I can try them on, I agree (in broken German) and he leads me to what I though was the changing room (turns out it was just a little room that contained his manbag and a mirror (probably where he masturbates). He then set about getting me the shirt and told me to undress.. (at which point I thought ok, maybe my understanding of German isnt so good and he only wants me to take my jacket off).
He then tells me to take my shirt off as well with a glint in his eye... I shut the door and started püutting the shirt on..
halfway through he opens it and tells me that he will help.... (so at this point im quizzical but also very nieve).. he tells me to hold my trousers at the waist band and starts to show me how i should took my shirt in at the back!!!!!!!!! (yes hands inside my trousers!!!)
Now most blokes would probably have hit him but my mind was saying (ok this isnt right, but on the other hand you know fuck all about tailoring, maybe its normal..) then he moves around the front (bearing in mind he is on his knees) and starts trying to tuck the front in.... (now again most people would have said whoah woah woah sweet child of mine! what do you think your doing.. but then again most people couldnt say that in Deutsch... and neither could I.
So at this point I am very uncomfortable and trying to wrestle control of my crotch back off him.. I finally do and decide right, buy the shirt and fuck off... again while changing he opens the door with another shirt in hand and says "why dont you try this one!!!!"
Now i dont use this phrase often but I think i must have moved quicker than a smack heads giro does!
I quickly paid for the shirt at which point the questions began of where im from, where i work and as I was leaving the shop he called me back to say (again with that devils glint in his eye) that for the next shirt I have I get a 25% percent discount!!!!!!!!!!
I thought fucking hell so in essence you just touched me up for 30 euros! there must be a lack of mae prostitutes in Berlin!!!
And now Im back at work, slightly shaken and feeling filthy.. it couldn only happen to me!!!!!!!!!
I need a shower....
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
AAh!
Ok hangover dissipating now, its all good.. but i just walked past a mirror and saw a big "knife-like" scratch down my back, my beige suit looksl ike it had more glasses of rioja thrown at it than I drank and the shirt I was wearing is now pink and also has a large cut in it ("knife-like" indeed!)
and now Im getting flashbacks of watching the apprentice at three this morning.. isnt it weird what you remember???
at least it wasfree,reckon i get a free suit out of my boss as well.. if i have a job that is!
and now Im getting flashbacks of watching the apprentice at three this morning.. isnt it weird what you remember???
at least it wasfree,reckon i get a free suit out of my boss as well.. if i have a job that is!
Ow, my head
ok i am writing this barely conscious on my couch. Was going to g0 to the gym last night but ended up drinking red wine from 4 until 12 last night! my boss tried to fight me! grabbed me in this bar and tried strangling me for some reason! luckily i pushed him back and ended up on top and i didnt hit him. which is a good thing! anyway i came home to a very pissed of girlfriend. and we are now argueing... nothing new there then! anyway im going to drink 16 glasses of water.. bye!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Happier days (sunday, monday tuesady.. la la laaa).
Feel better now, got rid of some tension had a meeting with the boss...
Berlin is all white! very snowy and sehr kalt! and I think I need to go back to leeds for the week just for a few nights out with the lads. some good old messiness in Headingly.
I dont really know what to write today, went home for xmas, saw everyone, saw my new little cousins (that are tiny) came back, one of my cats was ill :o( but we sorted him out so its all good.
Oh and I have ordered a Wii! Im very excited! and I enrolled at a gym which I have been going to in fact im going tonight to try and shed some of these pounds!
anway better get back to work, ill add some photos tonight. tschus!
Berlin is all white! very snowy and sehr kalt! and I think I need to go back to leeds for the week just for a few nights out with the lads. some good old messiness in Headingly.
I dont really know what to write today, went home for xmas, saw everyone, saw my new little cousins (that are tiny) came back, one of my cats was ill :o( but we sorted him out so its all good.
Oh and I have ordered a Wii! Im very excited! and I enrolled at a gym which I have been going to in fact im going tonight to try and shed some of these pounds!
anway better get back to work, ill add some photos tonight. tschus!
Rant! (from last monday)
Rant
Current mood: aggravated
Right, Im pissed off.
i fucking hate people that are from such a "perfect world" that they act suprised when they meet someone who isnt!
sorry let me re-phrase that. I hate people who think they are perfect,, have had everything laid out in front of them and think anyone who is different from them is either thick, or poor.
They piss me the fuck off. And I hate owners of companies who are scared of confrontation, when they have done something so much that they hide themselves behind work they are trying to avoid.
And I hate working my bollocks of at something, doing very well and not getting any kind of fucking reward. Especially when people who brown nose get some kind of "respect" that the only thing they have done to deserve it is lay down and say "yes, your better than me because you have money".
Where the fuck do these people come from? And why does no one in the world of finance come from the North of England. Just cause I dont have London tattooed around my belly button doesn't mean I don't know what the fucking FTSE is shithead.
And why the fuck does Berlin have such a fucking segregated community (well I could probably answer that)... But seriously there is a million night clubsjust out in the middle of no where! andwhy isnt there a nice cheap pub apart from thedingy Irish one which is only goodforbreakfasts and football? and why whenever you order anything online is it too big and too small? and why do people keep telling me that they dont make shoesizes for "people like me"???
And why do people always say fucking stupid things like "oh you've had your hair cut" or "you've put on/lostweight".
WELL THANK FUCK FOR TELLING ME! OBVIOUSLY SINCE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO USE A MIRROR I HADNT NOTICED THAT SOME LITTLE BASTARD STOPPED BY MY HOUSE AND SPENT45 MINUTES CUTTING MY HAIR YOU ARSEHOLE.
AND I REALLY DIDNT NOTICE WHEN I TRY AND WEAR ONE OF MY OLD SCHOOL SHIRTS I LOOK LIKE BRITNEY FUCKING SPEARS.
JESUS CHRIST YOU BRAINLESS SHANDY DRINKING GITS!!!
aaah that feels better...
p.s.and i hate people that sound like rodney from Only fools and horses, there was only one rodney, and he isnt a cunt, like you
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